S.O.S

Respect is a lesson that everyone should learn

Respect must be given before an expected return
Respect is something that’s given for free
Respect is about us and never about me
Respect builds the character and defines who we are
Respect sets the standard and raises the bar

These were the lines inscribed on the wall of a primary school in Coimbatore. I was visiting the school as a volunteer for social responsibility initiative on behalf of TCS. A representative from the school started introducing us to the little kids about 5 years old one by one when I spotted a little kid at the very end of the class lying with heads down. The letters SOS were written on his T-shirt. I asked the teacher "What does SOS mean?" "Sir! He is Son of a Sex Worker..Son of a Slut..SOS" When I turned back the boy had run away.. 

I never saw or heard from the boy again. What I do know is that little kid in that school today was being deprived of one of the very basic rights of a human being - Respect. His fault - his mother was working as a sex worker. 

Slut, whore, escort, call girl - these are the various names by which a certain group of people are referred to because they do a certain job. However, they can also be called by some other names like - Mother, daughter, sister, woman, human. The sad part being the very society which rechristens them is the reason why they were rechristened in the first place. Growing poverty, increasing urbanization, and industrialization, migration, and widespread unemployment are the prevalent reasons for prostitution. A survey conducted by Indian Health Organization shows:-20% of the one lakh prostitutes are children;15% of the women in prostitution have been sold by their husbands. These hapless women are not lured into it but are thrust into it.

They are here to fulfil someone’s needs...they are here indeed to fulfill someone’s needs - someone is doing it to help an ailing family, someone is doing it to ensure her child gets a better life whereas someone is doing it to merely stay alive. And what is the society doing in return? Labelling them as outcasts. A young boy whose mother is working as a sex worker ridiculed upon and labelled as a SOS - Son of a Slut whereas a politician’s son whose parents are doing more harm to the society is labelled as a SOS - Shrine of Society? I ask who is the real SOS - Scourge of the Society?

I will tell you what is the problem - the so called society is full of hypocrites. Publicly the society will condemn prostitution but privately the same society will seek the company of one. For any business to thrive, buyers should be more than sellers. When these women sell their body, there are millions of buyers. But these women are also selling their souls, is there anyone brave enough to buy them? Sex workers do not and I repeat do not love the job that they are doing. An engineer wants his child to be an engineer, a doctor wants her child to be a doctor. A prostitute never wants her child to be a prostitute. And what do they get in return? Continuous contempt, handful of hatred, despise and disdain.

Bollywood actress Kareena Kapoor won a plethora of awards for portraying the character of a sex worker in the movie “Chameli”. The critics were glowing in her praise for the bravery she showed in portraying such a difficult role. She was only acting in front of a camera for a single movie, sex workers need to act 24*7*365. Forget an award, most of them don’t even get a proper meal to eat. That my friend requires bravery. That my friends calls for respect. Not because of the job that they are doing but because of the sheer gut required to do this job.

I am not here asking everyone to join a movement to eradicate prostitution, there are countless organizations doing that. I am not here asking you for monetary contribution enabling a better life for the sex workers. I am here asking for something which only a very brave person can give - respect towards sex workers. Whenever you hear someone discussing his adventures with a sex worker - protest. Whenever you hear the word slut being used to demean any women - protest. Whenever you hear another Jiten being referred to as SOS - protest. 

SOS - stands for Save our Soul. It is a distress call made hoping against hope. Today I am raising an SOS on behalf of all the SOS - Son of Sluts. The essence of a Human Being is being human. Respect the sex workers as human beings. Please.

Remember friends,

Respect is a lesson that everyone should learn
Respect must be given before an expected return
Respect is something that’s given for free
Respect is about us and never about me
Respect builds the character and defines who we are
Respect sets the standard and raises the bar

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THE PHILADELPHIA EXPERIMENT

As Tom entered the pub Ryan waved at him from his chair. Tom acknowledged him and made his way up to his table. “A beer will do for me” he told the waiter and took his seat. One bottle of beer arrived and was duly dispatched, followed by another and one more. The funny thing about drinking is that people start speaking trash when they are in their senses and once they are sloshed they start speaking about the most intellectual things. Our protagonists were involved in a discussion about science. Ryan said “I watched the movie Time Machine recently. Really loved it. How cool it would be to travel back in time. I wish I could do that so that instead of wasting time with you I would be in a date.” Tom retorted “Can time machine change the fact that you were voted Mr. Ugliest in college?” Before Ryan could reply Tom decided to change the topic “However, time travel is possible only in the movies. In real life it’s just a figment of imagination.”
“Figment of imagination? What do you know about time travel?” the voice was not of Ryan's but someone else's. An old man was sitting in the next table and he was looking at their direction. “Time travel is not a figment of imagination. It has been done in the past. “Ryan and Tom were sure that this man is out of his mind and instead of arguing with him they paid their bills and left the bar. While they were leaving the bar, the man shouted on their back “It is one of the biggest cover ups in human history”. Tom looked back but Ryan dragged him away.
That night Tom couldn't sleep peacefully, the phrase Biggest Cover Up in Human history was playing repeatedly in his mind. Was it the gibberish of a sloshed man or the tip of the iceberg? He searched the internet for time travel and what he got was references of the book Time Machine only. Frustrated he gave up and went to sleep.
Next day when Tom was returning from work he found that same old man on the street. Tom walked up to him and said “Sir. Sorry about yesterday, I would love to hear your story.” The old man looked up to him and smiled “Good. And for your information it’s not a story but a real life incident. Follow me.”
Tom accompanied him inside a nearby pub and he started his story. The year was 1943. The world was in the midst of World War II. In those days going to work meant serving the army. My friend the Late John Bradley was a marine. He was one of the best and toughest men in the army. His boss was Lieutenant Steven Dempsey – head US navy operations. One day the Lt. Called up John and told him that he has been selected for a high profile mission. As per the words of the Lt. it was going to be a voyage of a lifetime. My friend the daredevil marine signed up for the mission without thinking for a second. Little did he know that it was not a mission but rather a suicide. The ship was the US Navy destroyer escort named USS Eldridge. The place was Philadelphia. The date was October the 28th. It was a crystal clear day. Around 20 marines were chosen for that mission. The Lt. delivered a motivating speech to the so called chosen ones. He told them “Gentlemen history will be kind to you because today you will write it. All the best.” The ship was surrounded by some huge structures which the unsuspecting sailors were told as fuel tanks. In reality they were electrical generators. Their purpose was to bend light around the Eldridge.
Tom was listening with his mouth gaping. The old man took a deep breath and continued, the marines boarded the ship and waited for it to sail. But instead of sailing something else happened. The so called fuel tanks closed around the ship and without any warning they were switched on. There was deafening noise around the place. The marines suddenly realised something was wrong and tried to escape the ship, but their eyesight was blocked by a blinding flash of light. The electrical generators started serving their purpose and light was starting to bend around the Eldridge. The soldiers started shouting in fear, grown up men were crying like scared babies not knowing what was happening. And then the generators reached full power. The ship was engulfed with blue light, the cries suddenly stopped. The Eldridge disappeared from sight. 
There was pin drop silence in the pub where Tom and the old man were sitting. Tom realised they were the only people left in the pub. He also felt Goosebumps. “What happened next?” Tom asked. The old man sipped his beer and said “After 10 seconds the Eldridge reappeared. A call came from Virginia about 320kms away that they had spotted the Eldridge at their port. It was dismissed by the Lt. as nothing but hallucination. But in reality the Eldridge travelled back in time. This was a part of an experiment – The Philadelphia Experiment.” What happened to your friend John? When the ship returned John was found dead, his hand 10 feet away from him. Most of the crew members died, only a few survived. So why doesn’t anyone know about this experiment? Enquired Tom. Because the ones who survived were given medicines to wipe out their memory. You see young man, time travel is plausible. Saying this, the old man stood up and started walking away.
Tom was curious. Hey he shouted back. If no one knows about this, how come you know? Who are you? The old man looked back from the door, smiled at Tom and said Lieutenant Steven Dempsey wishes you and your family a merry Christmas... and he disappeared.

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PAPER PLANES

“Rohan! Get ready for the party” shouted Rohan’s mother. Rohan simply hated these so called parties. In his opinion it was nothing but a waste of time. He wished to stay home and watch football. However, his mother was adamant. And Rohan knew he had lost the battle. Silently he dressed up like a pauper and accompanied his mom. 
“Mom! Get ready for the party, we are getting late” shouted Riya. Riya loved these parties. According to her such parties were extremely necessary to socialize and make new friends. She was dying to reach there and was pushing her mother. Finally, her mother being ready Riya dressed up like a princess and left for the party.
Mr. Toastmaster, fellow Toastmasters and dear guests when East meets west, when north and South Pole come together, when summer encounters winter sparks fly. Similar was the case when Rohan and Riya met in that fateful party. It was not love at first sight, it was far from that. Riya thought Rohan was the servant of the house based on his attire and ordered him to get her a glass of water. It is only when her friends told her; she realized her mistake and went up to apologize to him. However, Rohan seemed to belong to a different planet hardly listening to her and that intrigued her more. He was different from the rest for her and she was like any other girl for him. However, he was getting bored so he thought there is no harm in speaking with her for a few minutes, which soon turned into a few hours, into a few days, few weeks, and few months and before they realized they were in love.
Life was so simple yet so beautiful. He dreamed of becoming a pilot one day and everyday he would gift her handmade paper planes. Their parents also approved of the match. They were very happy together until Valentine’s Day. Riya had never been so late like that day. Rohan was getting worried. Finally she arrived. Rohan was sure he was going to be angry on her but as soon as he saw her, like always he forgot everything. However, there was something different about Riya. She was replying in monosyllables. Rohan asked her “What’s the matter Riya?” Riya replied “Rohan do you remember Joy my college senior?” “Yes I do. That guy who had a huge crush on you. I don’t blame him though.” “Rohan, he proposed to me yesterday. He is now a manager in a bank in France.” Rohan was perplexed, why was Riya telling her all these? Then came the hammer blow. “Rohan, love is a wonderful thing but we cannot live our entire life based on love. We need to be practical. I feel Joy can keep me happy, so I accepted his proposal for marriage.” Rohan was dumbstruck. The only words that came out of his mouth were “What about our dreams?” “What dreams Rohan? The day you proposed to me you promised me that you will be getting your own car, till today you have managed to get only this cycle. Rohan you are a nice guy but not my dream guy. Let’s not have any further discussion on this. Let me keep this short and simple – it’s over.” And she left.
Different people act differently when they are hurt. Rohan took this rejection as a stimulus to work harder. He worked really hard and finally he managed to become a pilot. His dream of touching the sky was realised. He owned his own car now, a lavish sedan.
One rainy day Rohan was driving his car when he saw an elderly couple walking in the rain trying to cover them with the umbrella but the winds were too strong. As he drove past them he realised they were Riya’s parents. For a few minutes Rohan was experiencing a sadistic pleasure as he remembered how he was rejected for the so called rich guy. He wanted to let her parents know that he no longer belonged to the mass rather he belonged to the class. He wanted them to realise that today he was safe and sound in the car while they were suffering in the rain. What he saw next confused him, the couple was walking towards a cemetery, and so he got out of his car and followed…and he saw Riya, smiling sweetly as ever at him but only from her tombstone and he saw his paper planes right beside her.
Her parents saw him. He asked them why this had happened. They explained, she did not leave for France at all. She was ill with cancer. She had believed that he will make it someday, but she did not want to be his obstacle… therefore she had chosen to leave him. She had wanted her parents to put his paper planes beside her, because, if the day comes when fate brings him to her again…he can take some of those back with him.
Just because someone doesn’t love you the way you want them to, doesn’t mean they don’t love you with all they have.
Rohan didn’t cry. He knew she wouldn’t be happy seeing him cry. Because,  once you have loved, you will always love. For what’s in your mind may escape but what’s in your heart will remain forever.

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The Fateful Day

As the first rays of the sun hit his face, Rahul slowly opened his eyes. He turned to the right side and saw his beautiful wife Tina sleeping. Between them was Aryan, Rahul’s 4 year old son. As he looked down on his family, a tear rolled down Rahul’s eye and he thanked the almighty for giving him a wonderful family and a wonderful life. And today, it is going to get even better. Rahul Sharma is working with a reputed investment banking company in USA and today he is supposed to give a very important presentation. If everything goes as per plan, he will be promoted and his package will be doubled.
As these thoughts came into Rahul’s mind he quickly got up from the bed, opened his laptop and checked his presentation for the umpteenth time. There shouldn’t be any flaws. Satisfied finally, he closed the laptop and started getting ready for work. He selected his favourite suit for this special occasion. Put on his best perfume. He stood in front of the mirror looking extremely presentable. In the meanwhile his family has also got up. Aryan was throwing his usual tantrums about going to school and Tina was trying her best to convince him. Tina was scolding Aryan. Rahul decided to help Tina pacify Aryan. He went to the other room and found that Aryan has picked up a pair of scissors. Afraid that his son might be hurt Rahul tried to snatch it away from his grasp, but he cut himself. Blood was gushing down his fingers. Aryan started crying, Tina was trying to stop the blood, it was pandemonium. Rahul fixed himself up and realised he will get late for work if he doesn’t rush. So he quickly finished up dressing and started having his breakfast. The hand was paining but Rahul’s mind was preoccupied with thoughts about the presentation. Hi s thoughts were punctured by a phone call. It was Aryan’s school bus driver. The school bus won’t be coming today. So, Rahul had to drop Aryan to school. He started his car and drove towards Aryan’s school. His eyes stealing nervous glances towards his watch all the while. He parked the car and waited for Aryan to get down. But Aryan was sitting and looking at him. Rahul said “Aryan school has arrived. Go now or else dad will be late for his work.” But Aryan kept on looking at him. Rahul got a little bit irritated “What is the matter Aryan?” “Daddy I want a chocolate” “Aryan go to school now, I will get you a chocolate in the evening” But Aryan was adamant. Rahul lost his temper and scolded Aryan “Go now.” The poor little boy started crying, took his bag and left for school. Rahul sighed and he felt bad about his actions, but he was helpless. He had to rush. Oh crap! He was never going to make it by road. He was late. Rahul parked the car in Aryan’s school only and rushed towards the nearby metro station. His office had a metro station at the basement. That will be his fastest route, but he needed to catch this metro else he was doomed. Rahul ran as fast as he could and then he saw it as he reached the ticket counter. A huge queue. Rahul prayed....if only he could get a ticket in time. He spotted Mike in the queue. Mike is his colleague but the truth of the matter is they never really got along with each other. However, Mike was Rahul’s last hope. He rushed up to Mike and requested him to get a ticket for him and explained to him the gravity of the situation. Surprisingly Mike agreed! Rahul waited patiently until Mike reached the counter. Yes he has got the tickets! Rahul ran up to him as he was entering the platform and put out his hand for his ticket. However, Mike simply smirked and returned him back his money. Rahul was outraged but couldn’t do anything as he watched Mike boarding the metro and waving him goodbye. His last resort was gone. Panic set into his mind as he fidgeted through his cell phone to call up his boss. His boss took the call “Rahul! Where the hell are you? The clients are here! We are waiting” “Boss I am having a bad day, I missed the metro, the metro comes in 10 mins.” Just then at the background Rahul heard a voice, it was Mike “Boss any problem? Can I help?” “Thanks Mike you are just in time” Bang! The phone was put down. Rahul was crestfallen. How could fate play such a cruel game with him? 
Slowly Rahul moved out of the metro station, his feet and brain not in sync. After what it seemed like ages he realised that he has reached a quiet park. He sat down on a bench and started recollecting the events leading up to his misfortune. If only the school bus arrived, if only Aryan didn’t throw so many tantrums, if only.... The phone was ringing...it was Tina...What will he tell her? He picked up the phone...but instead of a hello he was greeted by his sobbing wife... Tina what happened? Oh Rahul, I just.I just saw the news...  Rahul thought his missing an important meeting has come on the news?? Tina I can explain please listen to me...Rahul no need to explain anything...am so relieved... Tina is relieved that I have screwed up at work? She has lost her mind! What are you talking about Tina? Why are you relieved? Don’t you know Rahul?? Where areyou? I am at a lonely park....then go to the nearest shop and watch the TV...your office, the WTC exists no more! Rahul was dumbstruck. He rushed to the nearest coffee shop and he saw on TV his beloved WTC being reduced to rabbles by terrorist attacks. He tried to call his boss, his colleagues but all of their phones were not reachable...actually they were no longer reachable.
Friends, Rahul Sharma was alive on that fateful day because he was meant to be alive. If his son didn’t throw the tantrums, if his colleague would have helped him, Rahul would have been able to get a promotion but he would have been dead. In life often we face tough times and we wonder why me? But, life is a great leveller. Whatever happens in life happens for good. Enjoy the good times because it will not last forever....and face the tough times because that also won’t last forever.

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The Soul Stealer

 “Anirban, what are you doing this weekend?” Enquired Sayan. It was a long weekend with holidays from Friday to Sunday. “Nothing much. Plan to stay at home only”- I replied. “Why don’t you come along with me? I am going to my native. A small village in North Bengal. You can also take some beautiful pictures.” Why not? I am game for it. And so we were off to North Bengal.

What I had assumed to be a battered wooden cabin was actually a bungalow fit for a Lord Curzon no less! The bungalow was inhabited by only Mohan. Mohan was the caretaker and he lived in a home nearby with his family. After dropping off my luggage I decided to take a look outside and reached the balcony. It was a lovely view outside with lush green foliage, the chirping of birds and the smell of wet soil. I just closed my eyes and sat down on the chair and was enjoying the breeze. However soon I felt the presence of someone. I opened my eyes and found a face just inches of my face. I was shocked. And fell down from the chair. Sayan and Mohan came running in hearing the noise. Mohan apologised profusely. It was his little kid Brijesh. Sayan pulled me up and after I regained my composure, he suggested let’s go to visit the nearby palace to meet the king. “Are you kidding me? A king? In today’s day and age?” “Yes a king. The royal family.”

The King’s palace was like a shabby old building in Central Kolkata seeming as if it will collapse any moment. As we entered the palace believe me my fellow Toastmasters I instantly thought of the movie Bhool Bhulaiya. However, we couldn’t meet the king. He was very sick is what we were told. There were some strange looking saints at the king’s palace and they were putting on some tika on a few people who came to meet the king. While leaving the palace I was also given a tilak while Ayan was spared.  

One of the striking features of a hill side area is that the sun sets very quickly. By 7pm it was pitch dark with only the noise of some insects puncturing the silence. Sayan invited me downstairs for dinner. There was no electricity available so we had to do with oil lamps for light. Mohan and Brijesh also joined us. Mohan was very silent and was looking a bit disturbed. Sayan noticed it and asked “Mohan what is the matter?” Mohan looked at us, his face full of fear which was clearly visible in the night light and spoke in a husky voice – “Babu the king is in his death bed, they are calling the Soul Stealer to save him.” “A what? Sayan who is a soul stealer?” “Nothing Anirban, just stuff of legends. The soul stealer is a person who knows dark magic using which he calls out the name of another person, if he/she replies, his/her soul is stolen by the evil tantric and transferred to the king thereby adding to his life.” “It is not stuff of legends Babu, the saints who were present at the King’s palace today came to mark people who will be targeted by the Soul Stealer.”  “Wait a minute! Mohan do you mean this?” And I showed him the tilak on my forehead. Mohan looked awestruck and then started shouting hysterically “Babu your life is in danger! Leave your dinner and do as I say. We may be able to save you.” Both myself and Sayan were sceptical but Mohan was no longer pleading, he was ordering. All the doors and windows of the house were locked. We all assembled at the biggest room in the house. Sleep was the last thing on our mind. Sayan was besides me. Mohan and Brijesh nearby. We were waiting with baited breath. It was pin drop silence, even the insects had stopped making sounds. It was pitch black. You could only see the balcony outside through the glass window. Moon light puncturing the darkness. And then...I heard a strange noise...as if someone is dragging something. “He is coming” Said Mohan “Climbing the walls”. Within moments a figure had landed on the balcony. I couldn’t see his face. The figure was trying to peep through the window but I was pretty sure nothing could be seen inside. Then I heard a voice “Anirban...how are you my son?” Gosh it was my grandfather speaking!! I could hear his voice...my grandfather who had passed away a few years back was calling me. Sayan was shouting “Don’t reply” “Anirban come to me. I miss you so much son.” My mind was hypnotised. I don’t know what happened to me, I started walking towards the balcony. Sayan pounced on me and pressed his hand on my mouth. I wanted to shout out loud “I am coming grandpa” but I was overpowered. The voice bellowed me. I fought off Sayan, I had to go. Mohan came in the way. I shoved him away too. Only a few steps between myself and the window. I am close and it all went black!!

When I woke up next morning I found Sayan and Mohan sitting beside me. I had a searing pain at the back of my head. I asked Sayan “What happened?” Sayan replied “We nearly lost you buddy but thanks to Brijesh who knocked you unconscious that you are still alive.” “So what happened to the Soul Stealer? Well he left for some other house. Get ready buddy. The doc says you are fine now. We will leave for Kolkata” We got ready and before we left I thanked Mohan and Brijesh for all their help. As we were coming back we got a call from Mohan that the king is feeling a lot better now. Last night a young man was killed. Police is yet to understand the cause of his death. As I boarded the train to Kolkata Sayan told me that the soul stealer’s voice mirrors the person whom you miss the most. I realised the one’s whom we love never leave us, they stay in our heart. 

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How to Become a CC - Competent Cheater

"Raise your hands, spread your legs. 

Take off your jacket, open your shoes, socks!"

If you all are thinking that I am going to break the rules of Toastmasters and give a speech on “you know what”, then I am sorry to disappoint you. I am not describing a romantic scene; yes I was a part of this act along with another person. He touched me at places where only my clothes have touched me before this. After being molested by him, I was cleared to go and sit for my examination. This entire exercise was performed to stop me from cheating!

Mr. Toastmaster, fellow Toastmasters and dear guests, cheating is the second most exciting indoor activity, the first all of you are grown up enough to know. Won’t the examinations become really boring if there isn’t any need to cheat? The poor species called invigilators would be out of job! For the next 5 and half minutes I will teach all of you how to become a CC – Competent Cheater.

The thing that baffles me the most is how smart people who conduct the CAT exam can ban cheating. I mean cheating teaches so many management lessons.

Lesson 1: Resource Management – Cheating requires you to optimally use any part and every part of your anatomy to achieve your purpose. If you are healthy you have more resources and if you are like me you are running a wee bit short on resources. However, cheating teaches you that irrespective of such drawbacks how you can utilize your resources to the maximum.

Lesson 2: Meticulous planning - I had a friend who used to keep a chit of paper in almost every pocket available. He used to wear specially designed shirts with inside pockets. After designing all the chits he used to design a master chit which told him which chit is in which pocket. Don’t you think this is an awesome example of time management and planning? Have you ever wondered how well people plan and coordinate in order to take a toilet break exactly at the same time with the precision of milliseconds?

 Cheating also gives rise to innovation. Mr. Bean proved it by lying down on a table and blowing air with his mouth to turn over the page of the person in order to cheat. I had a classmate who went a step further. He used to use two glasses. One to read things from the person sitting far away and the second one to write in his own copy. He suffered from short sightedness. Then there was another friend who could follow the pattern in which the pen was moved to cheat.

But, like any successful venture, cheating is also dependent on numerous stakeholders. The first and foremost being luck. We always used to rush to the notice board in order to check out the seating arrangement. If you are in the first bench it is your bad luck sometimes. Because there are some invigilators who always believe that back benchers cheat. In such a case you are lucky.

The second stakeholder for a successful cheating venture is the donor i.e. the person from whom you are going to cheat. There are basically three types of donors found in an examination hall.

1.      Universal Donor – As the name suggests, such a donor is hell bent upon helping every one even if you don’t need help. He/she is a reincarnation of a saint in an examination hall.

2.       The symbiotic donor – Such a donor needs your help to help you. I know a person who can write 5 pages of answer at one go if you can tell him the first sentence.

3.      The give and take donor – Such a donor helps you if you help him. Show me answer 4 and I will show you answer 3.

Finally, the most important stakeholder – The Invigilator. In order to tackle this obstacle, you need to be a keen observer. There are a few invigilators who will complete a walk marathon in an examination hall by always walking. Study their walking pattern. Do they look back while walking? Do they glance sideways? All these subtle things will help you in cheating. For example if the person never turns back then read the question paper carefully when he is facing you and as soon as he turns back – Cheat! There are a few invigilators who are extremely meticulous initially but their concentration wanes off as time passes by. For such a person follow the wait and attack policy.

Cheating is the medium which has given rise to lifelong friendship. Strangers become the best of friends during the span of a 2 hour examination. Couples are formed via love at first cheat. All successful cheaters are 6 sigma certified people. Cheating my friends is not a piece of cake; it is a work of art. So my fellow Toastmasters and dear guests, the next time you face an examination practice what I preached and experience the thrill of Cheating!

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TROUBLES OF TELLING THE TRUTH

         Always tell the truth, never tell a lie. We are all taught this since our childhood. This phrase becomes like a malfunctioning record player being played by our parents, teachers, books and even cartoon channels. So have you ever wondered that in spite of such a concerted effort by everyone why do people still lie? Because of the troubles of telling the truth. Take a simple example, you are assigned a role in Toastmasters session and you don’t feel like coming, if you tell that to the VP Ed, he will give you a rollicking, you meet some other fellow toastmaster he/she gives you another dose and finally you get a special call from the spectacled Big Boss who combines all of the above and then adds his own spice to the dish.

        I am going to tell you what are the various troubles that a person faces when he/she speaks the truth.

1.      1.  More Trouble:  I once boarded a bus with my friend. Back in those days having a cell phone was a luxury and my friend had one. He was boasting about his phone all though the journey. When we got down, not only was his phone missing, his pocket was also missing. And you all know how a pocket is positioned in a guy’s pant. He was lucky that he still had you know what. Damn he was speaking the truth that his cell phone is awesome.

2.      2.  No one believes in you: After I joined French classes, the first day the teacher came in and asked, “So what is the first thing that comes in your mind when you hear the word French”. I started waving my hand vigorously because I wanted to make an impression. He said yes you the skeleton say. I said sir the first thing that comes to my mind is French Kiss. I was thrown out of class. Damn I was speaking the truth.

3.      3.  People cannot accept the truth : When that teacher called me a skeleton, the things which were running on my mind were “You have a paunch which makes you look like a pregnant man and you call me a skeleton?” Damn he was only speaking the truth. Another example when your gf asks you am I looking fat, never ever utter the truth that yes sweetheart day by day you are swelling and my purse is deflating. Instead use the latest simili added in English, you are as slim as Anirban. That might however result in she blaming you – so you are saying that I suffer from malnutrition?

        So, what do we do? Thankfully Newton saved us, every action has an equal and opposite reaction. The reaction to the action of troubles when you tell the truth is a lie. Tell a lie. Liars have helped in growth of technology. Do you ever find a truth detector? But there is a lie detector. Politicians make a livelihood by telling a lie. Music directors get awards by telling a lie that it is their own tune. So how do you tell a lie? Thankfully for all you innocent souls in this room you have a master to guide you.

1.      1.  A wild lie: After my friend suffered the next time I boarded a bus and a friend of mine asked me how much money am carrying in my purse. I told him “Purse? Are you crazy? Can’t you see am not even wearing a pant!” It helped. The person sitting in front of me stood up and offered me his seat by moving away from me. The conductor didn’t ask me for tickets. Damn telling a lie helps!

2.      2.  Fabricate the truth: After a lot of dillydallying I was allowed to rejoin my French classes but in a different batch. And this time my answer was French Fries. Not only did it serve the purpose, the teacher even treated us with French fries on that day. . Damn telling a lie helps!

3.      3.  And finally avoid the truth: When your gf asks you that question, simply change the topic to baby it’s been ages we went out for a dinner together. You are saved.

        I told you about both sides of the coin. I leave it upon you whether you want to choose heads or tail. But to help you make your choice here is a final clue. Whatever anecdotes I used in my articles are all lies.  

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